Friday, September 26, 2008


It was sad last night listening to my room mate laugh and smile as she told me she was giving up on moving back to the East Coast. She caved in to everything her husband is demanding. Now she is saddled with all the responsibility for the kids, the house, the family income, the childcare, grocery shopping, blah blah blah, because she will move back in with him. I can see that the whole economy thing spooked her. The idea of losing her job or being alone. Or both.

She does this nervous laughing thing that is really pathetic. Her husband is a big baby, as bad as my ex. He plays golf, doesn't want to work. She tells stories about her abusive father walking around naked all the time, posing his private parts directly toward her face. I suppose the husband is a prince compared to the father.

Sometimes I can't stand hearing about it. Last night I went to bed early.

I am interested in what's going to happen with the economy. Do you know the French expression, "ennui"? It's a combination of boredom and anxiety. It's what I have a lot.

And I don't know if I'm going to vote. I keep hearing about someone named Joe Schriner.

The only interesting thing that happened today is that I found out that Paul McCartney has a new girlfriend. Her name is Nancy Shevell. She has dark hair. I don't think I've ever heard of him going out with a woman with dark hair. There is hope for me. But he will likely marry her.

The economy. I just have to ride it out, I suppose. I picture myself in a quiet farmhouse. The bus comes by to get the kids. I stay home all day and write. Exercise. Shoot at trespassers. Start dinner.

It could happen. If I were married to Paul McCartney.

To make matters worse, Marc sends me links to the economist Nouriel Roubini. Roubini is like a slavic Angel of Death, in more ways than one or two. Still, I find him appealing in a morose way. The sense of doom that surrounds him transcends space and time. You could easily picture him as an SS monkey, a medieval executioner, or a Roman centurion. Really. It starts before he even opens his mouth to speak.

http://www.rgemonitor.com/

http://pages.stern.nyu.edu/~nroubini/

I am going to pay off my credit card. $501.97 - the remainder from the teapot orgy, the aromatherapy experiments, and the weekend in the Flint Hills with my 9-year-old. I really want to know if this is stupid or not stupid... it's a lot of money to me. If the global economy is going down in flames in the very near future, I would prefer to get my hair done decently beforehand.

I overslept today and didn't get a shower. Just ate a bunch of candy. The economy makes me anxious.

This Just In

SUBJECT: REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

DEAR AMERICAN:

I NEED TO ASK YOU TO SUPPORT AN URGENT SECRET BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH A TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF GREAT MAGNITUDE.

I AM MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY OF THE REPUBLIC OF AMERICA. MY COUNTRY HAS HAD CRISIS THAT HAS CAUSED THE NEED FOR LARGE TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF 800 BILLION DOLLARS US. IF YOU WOULD ASSIST ME IN THIS TRANSFER, IT WOULD BE MOST PROFITABLE TO YOU.

I AM WORKING WITH MR. PHIL GRAM, LOBBYIST FOR UBS, WHO WILL BE MY REPLACEMENT AS MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY IN JANUARY. AS A SENATOR, YOU MAY KNOW HIM AS THE LEADER OF THE AMERICAN BANKING DEREGULATION MOVEMENT IN THE 1990S. THIS TRANSACTIN IS 100% SAFE.

THIS IS A MATTER OF GREAT URGENCY. WE NEED A BLANK CHECK. WE NEED THE FUNDS AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. WE CANNOT DIRECTLY TRANSFER THESE FUNDS IN THE NAMES OF OUR CLOSE FRIENDS BECAUSE WE ARE CONSTANTLY UNDER SURVEILLANCE. MY FAMILY LAWYER ADVISED ME THAT I SHOULD LOOK FOR A RELIABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY PERSON WHO WILL ACT AS A NEXT OF KIN SO THE FUNDS CAN BE TRANSFERRED.

PLEASE REPLY WITH ALL OF YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, IRA AND COLLEGE FUND ACCOUNT NUMBERS AND THOSE OF YOUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN TO WALLSTREETBAILOUT@TREASURY.GOV SO THAT WE MAY TRANSFER YOUR COMMISSION FOR THIS TRANSACTION. AFTER I RECEIVE THAT INFORMATION, I WILL RESPOND WITH DETAILED INFORMATION ABOUT SAFEGUARDS THAT WILL BE USED TO PROTECT THE FUNDS.

YOURS FAITHFULLY MINISTER OF TREASURY PAULSON