Lee

I turned off the phone in case crazy Lee calls. His real name is Mike. But he changed it to Lee... I suspect when he got out of the prison psych ward. Anyway, FedEX called this morning. Someone sent me flowers. I refused them. I have no idea who could be sending me flowers, except for Crazy Lee (Mike).

Crazy Lee was actually sending me movies of himself. Not porn or anything; just movies of himself talking to me.

"Hi. This is my car. I'm outside the bookstore waiting for it to open. It's 10 of 9. I'm saying a prayer for you now (crosses himself, closes eyes). Here's the traffic on the highway (turns camera toward highway). Oh, look, there's a Subway across the street. I love meatball sandwiches from Subway! And a jewelry store. Maybe we can visit there some day!"

Whack job.

Crazy Lee told me that he was retired. But he was only 47, which I found strange. I asked him how he managed that. Did he get bored? What did he do with his time? He had plenty of hobbies, he said. He didn't need to work. He had bought Microsoft stock at just the right time.

Ahhhhhh. I see.

He was calling me pretty frequently, so I did a reverse lookup on his phone number. Phone listed in his father's name. OK, so he lives with his father. Did a look up on the address.


BLDG ON LEASED LAND IN GRAND VIEW MOBILE HOME PARK/6213 DECATUR ST SW DESC AS LANDS ALL IN THE SE & SW STR/LB

Ahhhhhh. I see. Microsoft stock.

Sheree told me to say that God spoke to me from a cloud and told me not to date men any more. Goodbye. So I did that.

I'll let you know if he stalks me.