Play Therapy

I'm in a cycle where I'm trying to take care. Just be purposeful, have direction, for a change. Like in French - faire attention. I was hoping the other day that this was the end of a year of hard changes for me and my kids; this could be the beginning of an easier life. I guess you never know that, though. You just take it a day at a time.

In the past year, the kids had their dad move out, a crazy nanny move in, a crazy nanny move out, and the dog move back to South Carolina. We also sold our house and moved into a two-bedroom apartment with Phyllis, my room mate. This week they start school, my big girl in 4th grade and my little one in kindergarten. My older daughter has been in four schools since we moved to this town, and she is not happy about the changes. She's shy and self-conscious. By contrast, the little one makes friends with people even if there's a complete language barrier – the Mexican neighbors, for example.

Every once in a while, Missy will ask, "why did we have to sell the green house?" I tell her it's because it was too expensive for just the three of us. Emily sometimes asks, "did you like Greta (the dog)?" When I answer yes, that I loved her, she asks accusingly, "then why did you give her away?" Sometimes one or both of them will just start crying – they want to go home. To their old home. To their old rooms. In the green house.

The play therapy is coming along. I am grateful for that. The play therapist gives me a ton of homework to do – reading, charts, exercises. All in all, she says I am very teachable. And I am. I don't want to screw this up.

Emily has wanted to make perfume for a while now, so I went to the health food store to buy plant oils. I picked out a few, and they cost me the whole week's food budget. Plus, I had to buy vodka to make the perfume. Anyway, the lady at the health food store started talking to me about the plant and flower oils – I thought they were just smelly stuff, but it turns out they have medicinal properties, too. So I got a few books from the library. The past few nights we've all gone to bed with lavender on our pillows. I read in the book that it not only helps you sleep, but it can help you when there's been a wound to your soul. I thought, "this is what we've all had – a wound to our souls." My soul, Emily's little girl soul, Missy's baby 5 year old soul. We all need medicine.

We did well going to bed the past few nights. A month ago it was an anger fest, with mom swearing and the kids jumping on the beds. Calm is better. Lavender is better. Play therapy is helping.