Back in Black

You know, it's weird being the black sheep of the family. Did you ever see the movie Parenthood? There is that sister who just can't get it together; her husband abandons her, the kids walk all over her, she can't hold a relationship together with spit or glue?

When I went back East for a visit with my family this past weekend, I found myself feeling like her. I also found myself getting a lot of those, "what a damn shame" looks from my relatives. You know, because once upon a time, I had such potential. Then I went and frigged it all up.

I don't know what to say about all that. Except that I pretty much agree with their assessment. Back in the day, I did show a lot of potential. But somewhere along the line, I played Let's Make a Deal. I admit it. I made a few bargains and I settled for less - less than what I wanted, less than what I deserved, and less than what I needed. And now, here I am. Sorting it all out. Payback.

Oh well. I'm not the first woman in my family to sell herself short. I happen to know for a fact that being Irish (with a strong family history of alcoholism, depression, myopia, baldness, and Catholicism, I might add) that I come from a long line of frustrated and angry women. It has to do with bad decisions. All of it. And no forgiveness.

And the Tradition continues. We had quite a marathon of eye-rolling and head shaking this past weekend. The grimacing was unparalleled. I think I even caught my 2-year-old niece wagging her finger at me.

Ok. Whatever. But it ain't over yet.