Unbearable Lightness

Marc suggested a blog to combat the unbearable lightness. You know, of being.

I live in the Midwest. I have two kids. I'm divorced. I manage. Most of the time. Sometimes not.

Today is iffy. I deleted Instant Messenger from my desktop. It's my way of controlling the situation when Jack doesn't want to talk to me. I don't know if he doesn't want to talk to me or doesn't have time. Or doesn't think of it. But he's not talking to me. So I remove IM. So even if he wanted to, he could not reach me. So *there*. Put *that* in your pipe and smoke it.

I date. Online dating, if that counts. Yesterday I think I got matched with a woman dressed as a man. No lie. The profile said, "due to medical malfeasance, I cannot have sexual intercourse. However, I love to hug and cuddle."

I'm not falling for it. I'm just not. So forget it.

I had a date with Mr. Ambivalent. He hasn't called for a week. So I officially withdraw myself from the rotation. I'm not even going to tell him. I'm going to ambivalent right back at him. See if he likes it. I'm doing it right now. Can you feel it?

Kids are with Dad tonight. I am off to work with my friend with cerebral palsey. When the kids are away, I miss them terribly and think of all the times I yelled at them, ever. I wonder if they are as disappointed in me as I am in myself.