The Rules

Some simple rules for working in my office:

1. To make yourself look smart, make up vague fancy names for stuff so it sounds important. For example, "Product Response Category".
2. When someone asks a question, snarl and act disdainful. If possible, counter with one, if not several, questions of your own. For example, "What do you mean? What are you getting at? Can you be more clear? Why would someone want to *do* that?"
3. If you have to answer a question, be sure to puctuate your response with with, "Why don't you know that? I can't believe you don't know that."
4. Be sure to shake your head several times at the conclusion of questioning. Walk away, slowly.
5. Make note of the exact time and place of the incident so that you can report it to higher-ups. Try to frame the recounting innocently. For example, "when Smith was asking me how the Flux Capacitor worked yesterday, it reminded me of the time...."
6. Repeat ad nauseum.